Another first post

Standard

I am not apologetic anymore of not writing something in my blog. As usual, I was not short of ideas but I was short of inspiration and motivation, giving too much crap about how so many other and/or new people were affecting my life and now again I am back in my phase of not giving a shit about all of it and just care about my work (which is also sometime soon going to change to giving a bulls crap to all of it). I have realized that anything and everything in my life oscillates like a sinusoidal curve. Up and down. starting from money, body weight, excitement, enjoyment, sadness, irritation and happiness. Its been twelve days into another new year and just like a little kid I still feel happy about getting a chance to have a fresh start, fresh perspective on life every 365 days. More than anything the thing about not knowing what is going to happen in the next 365 days gives me goosebumps. Maybe I am maturing with each passing year because for the first time more than making resolutions for the new year I wanted to list down things I learnt from the last year. Its not a recapitulation of all the bad or good things that happened but of the new ways I learnt to live life in a better way. lets start, shall we?

1. I can most definitely live alone. Make food for myself, clothe myself, pamper myself and in the middle of the night make my way across a huge empty dark house to get a glass of water and not just keep lying thirsty in bed.

2. I can adjust and live with completely new people , harmoniously (by which i mean no fist fights) in one house and actually be happy about it.

3. I am strong in ways I didnt know I was. I can turn my face away from the two people I love the most in this world to walk alone into an airport to board an airplane that would take me halfway across the world away from them. I have the strength to disconnect video calls and not go into fits of depression every time.

4. I can make new friends who don’t necessarily hate me. I can actually have fun with them. They even turn up at midnight to wish you birthday!

5. I learnt to deal with death of someone so fucking close to my heart.

6. I started believing even more strongly in miracles. its a miracle alright when you meet someone you could love among-st a thousand strange faces. Someone who gets you and doesn’t judge you one bit.

7. Most importantly I finally understood that its enough if you have two or three people close to your heart, who don’t tear you apart every now and then, you don’t need more. Its really not size that matters, its quality!

I dont know how this year is going to be for me. I am going to make plans again, I am going to give my all again. I am going to try to make the people around me happy again and only hope that this year is even better than the last one with newer places and faces and old ones right here, close to my heart!

love and hugs,
Tiy

To think and not to over-think

Standard

Image

 

I recently found this online, and It is not funny!

Is it really true that women obsess to no end about things that really is not that big a deal? I really want to know, and I am extending out this question to anybody who reads this post, please tell me what you think! Especially when it comes to men, why is it so difficult to understand them? Or is it that it is very simple to understand them yet we are the ones who make it difficult on ourselves by over-thinking it, by tying multiple knots on a string that was already untangled and straight and making it even more complicated than it actually was? What is so different in our heads that forces us to make small things bigger and big things gigantic?  Is it true that men really don’t give that much of a thought to something which is probably a big deal in our head?  

I mean seriously, I have been told not once not twice but multiple numbers of times that I am making something too big a deal, blowing it out of proportions and only ending up torturing myself in the process. And, I am also sure, I am not alone. My friends are literally accused of the same too. If I were alone I would just think I have some mental condition and look for help with a shrink!

Did God intend for such a kind of gap to exist between men and women? Did Eve too blew things out of proportion in her head and Adam was happily chewing away an apple? Or did evolution have something to do with it? Or the way society has shaped us? Is it in our genes or is it environmental? May be men go to some school of their own and learn strategies to not think too much, not fret too much, just be spaced out and chilled all the time. Women should just hire spies and learn their trade. May be that is the solution!

I am a student of science, and maybe I should study more on the difference between that single small second X chromosome that we have and the Y chromosome that men have. Is that all it is? The difference in a chromosome and a couple of hormones in the body that is completely fucking our heads up!

To state one but simple example, I might think I had a fight and lose sleep over it, stay up all night to only think that a call back is going to be my only sign, the only sign which will tell me that I wasn’t wrong and then it will be all okay. However on the other side of that fight, there is a guy, sleeping peacefully without even knowing that they had one. How often do the girls have to hear that common line, “Oh, you made it all up in your head.”? What the hell is this? Haven’t we all noticed how girls study and study and look through the pages of the book until the last moment before an exam is about to start? Have you ever noticed the opposite sex? They are chillin away!

I am reading a book by a neuroscientist named V.S.Ramachandran called The Tell Tale Brain. The most fascinating thing that I have come across in this book till now is the presence of a particular type of neurons in the brain called mirror neurons. These mirror neurons are responsible for the plasticity in brain, or in simple words it helps our brain learn from our own experiences and from the other people’s experiences that we get to know in any way. To say in a simple example, when someone drinks water from a glass in front of you, your mirror neurons will trigger the same events in your head and draw mental picture of you drinking water from a glass. Haven’t you noticed, in a room when one person drinks water, simultaneously so many others in the room realizes they are thirsty and drink water too? Anyway, I won’t delve into further technicality of the neurons or the book but these particular neurons really struck my interest. These neurons help us form opinions and basically program us as we grow up hearing the things we hear and seeing the things we see. So does that mean if a boy grows up in a world where every person who he knows or whoever he interacts with thinking he is a girl, it’s going to change the whole dynamics of it? Will he now begin to think just like girls do? Will the vice-versa be true too?  Therefore it is not the X or Y chromosome and the hormones but the mirror neurons?

I know I sound very sexist right now, but sexism is practically existent in the society like some lecherous weed. You cannot get rid of it by just cutting it, you have to find the roots and take it out completely and that is what I am trying to do, trying to find the roots. I am sure I am not the first one talking about this but I am definitely one more person talking about it. Hopefully that counts!

Yes, this post was full of questions and no answer whatsoever coming out of retrospection and introspection of the whole subject matter. But, I am hoping I will be able to get some answers after this. And ladies, please don’t take it personally because I used a lot of generalizations here. I am aware that there are exceptions everywhere, girls who don’t over think and men who go crazy thinking and I love it and respect it.

So let’s chill out arright? Lets try to think about it like a man and come up with answers! (I was trying to sound like a man, did that come out right?)

 

 

SHITTY HUMOUR

Standard

Image

Whenever I go out of my house, may be for a cup of tea or to meet a friend or for some work to some place, I either walk or take the auto rickshaw or bus or the underground railways, I have a favourite pastime, to look at (hopefully not end up staring) and observe people. The fact that I do not have any personal means of transport and not enough money to afford a cab all the time makes sure that I am surrounded by people even when my commute is not too long. Now it is quite a cliché that my favourite out of all the people to observe are the little human beings. Yes, they are adorable, most of the times that is and if they are not, at least it’s fun to watch them irritate the crap out of whomever they are with. Now, my second favourite people to observe are the middle aged and old ones say from about 35 to 80 or above. It’s actually quite easy to distinguish the 35 from 25, lack of excitement in general is the first sign, lack of too much hand or body movement while talking is another. It is pretty intriguing how 10 years of being in the same bad world can change people’s perceptions. They learn to accept, they don’t fight for change in the auto rickshaw, they silently take an empty seat in the train without much ado and immediately almost close their eyes to avoid glares from older or more tired commuters and they are the ones waiting patiently in a queue even if it is as long as 50 metres long. Funny thing is how this attitude towards the world changes with another 25 years of living experience added to the file. How do you know someone is close to their 60’s? Well apart from the greying hair and wrinkles which people easily cover up these days ( the repertoire of hair colours, anti wrinkle creams, and oh I have heard yoga works too!) you would recognise them by their frowns! They frown almost at everyone and everything, refusal of the auto driver to give him change, or the young chap sitting on the senior citizen seat on the bus or the fact that he has to bear with a group of college girls screaming their lungs out when they see their crush in the train or the worst of it all, if they have to be a witness to young love.

Well it is not like I despise any of it, on the other hand I actually understand. It is okay to be grumpy I guess. The world is quite a shitty place to live in most of the days unless you are deliberate enough to not let anything affect you. To gracefully age is not something that everyone can master however I am pretty sure everyone tries. In a city like Calcutta where the traffic is absolutely bonkers and the population (oh let me not even get there) can drive you insane, especially if you are not really having a good day. May be once you reach home, see your children or grand children you smile and feel the load of the whole day getting lifted off your shoulders. Also how would you know you are being so closely observed by a neurotic woman! May be you would have behaved otherwise and hold the frowns!

The thing is I am not being judgemental, I am simply observing. I have also noticed that when age starts affecting body metabolism, people start developing quirky habits. People who are around their high 40’s or 50’s say they would not eat meat at night as they cannot digest it properly.  Your body cannot handle alcohol the same way anymore and you definitely have to go quite easy if you do not want to wake up with a hangover. My mom and dad have this weird thing, if they don’t wake up at 7 am and have a whole cup of hot milk tea they can’t take a dump and it follows by a grumpy day! Many people actually start reducing their milk intake with age because their bodies can’t digest it anymore. Reducing sugar intake is what I see in almost every middle aged person these days.

So, the reason why I started thinking about all of this and started writing this post is because I realised something about myself recently. By recently I mean in the last two months, I found out that I cannot take a dump the next day if I don’t have a cup of hot milk the previous night. I never realised my body would be so much dependant on it till the time I went travelling and hence out of schedule of my night ritual of drinking milk, and could not poop for 5 straight days! And trust me, if anyone has ever had the problem of not being able to shit would know what I mean when I say it was freaking painful. Finally in the fifth day I thought my tummy could not handle anything other than milk and hence got myself a glass full of hot milk and finally in that night I found my release! I have always had this drinking milk at night ritual, my whole family does it since forever, since the time I can remember. I have also gone travelling before with the ritual breaking and I spent my days looking at new places and people and eating new food without a worry about my body’s metabolism! So what changed now? Well the answer is simple and glaring at my face! I have aged. Age has affected my body’s metabolism and got me dependant on milk for me to be able to have a frown free day. It scares me really, this is just the beginning, I know. So many other things will happen to me and changes I would have to accept but at least I shall be warned. This was like my warning bell. I can’t believe that it started so early, but it is okay, if not anything else I will try to achieve mastery in the art of ageing gracefully. And, this blog post is my first effort to do so. Hope my choice of words were not too disgraceful.

Disclaimer: I do not intend to hurt anybody of any age by this post; I have people in my life who I love between the age of 5 to 85. Whatever is written should be taken lightly and only in the purpose of humour. Also, this post is based on observations with no fixed parameters or controls, hence I am just speaking my heart out and categorising or generalising in any way is not my intention.